Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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