From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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