what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
