but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
