It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
