That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's blow job season.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
