..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
