Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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