Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
