Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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