just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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