then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
