Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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