I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
