Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
