i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
