there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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