a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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