Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
did you just send me my own nude
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
