Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
