Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
