Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
They have beer where we have blood.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
