evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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