i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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