The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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