IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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