Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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