check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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