The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
