I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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