Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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