I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
