is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
