I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
