Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have tasted many bathrooms
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
