Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize