Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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