How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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