nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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