You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
