so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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