I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize