Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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