I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
