YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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