I wanna bring you to show and tell
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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