Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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