Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
