it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
home. puking in laundry basket.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
