once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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