You really coming over, don't trick.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
