i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
