the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
