that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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