Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
