just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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