Will you blow on my dice?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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