I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
